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Shocking exposé of Changes In Longitude

by Guest on May 16, 2012

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Our first ever guest post is from our friend Paula who traveled with us in Portugal to peek behind the curtain at Changes In Longitude:

Spending time with the “Traveling Milnes” is like finding yourself on a TV sitcom. One that was probably canceled after three episodes.

First of all, half of what they tout on their website is a scam. “We’re traveling light!” they exclaim. Have you actually tried to lift Larissa’s suitcase? The thing weighs a ton. It’s a wonder half of it didn’t fall off in Pyongyang.

Then there’s Little Rocky. Their photos make him look huge, imposing, sleek. In person, the poor thing is decrepit, held together by scotch tape, his coloring half flaked off. He’s even a bit waterlogged after an ill-fated attempt to float him in the Dead Sea. (Newsflash: statues don’t float.) It’s like seeing me without my makeup.

Portugal Duoro Valley

Yes, Portugal’s Douro Valley is gorgeous, but who’s got time for that when there’s laundry to do?

Then there’s their technology. They blog! They tweet! Surely they have all the latest gadgets. Yes, Larissa has a MacBook Air and can whip up a wifi hotspot as easily as a chicken dinner. (Which was delicious by the way.) But Michael, stuck in the past, sluggishly clicks away at an ancient PC. It’s a sad sight to see.

And the glamour? What a joke. Their idea of exotic adventure is washing out their underwear on a beautiful day in Portugal’s Douro Valley.  Heck, they spent half the morning trying to figure out the knobs on the washing machine, probably just to kill time.

Changes In Longitude blog

On a slow day, watching the spin cycle is a fascinating event.

So all in all, Changes in Longitude needs some changes in attitude.  Because traveling with the Traveling Milnes definitely makes you want to jump on a plane and go somewhere immediately. Preferably straight back home to resume life as you know it.

(P.S. All of the above, while based on fact, is meant strictly tongue in cheek, of course. I’m happy to report that Larissa and Michael are great fun to travel with. And now they owe me 100 euros.)

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

John Discepoli May 16, 2012 at 9:15 am

At least they are Consistent: when they visit us, their highlight is to go to the grocery store then take a nap.

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Larissa May 16, 2012 at 9:36 am

Hey, it’s not just any grocery store–it’s Jungle Jim’s! The place is so huge you need a nap afterward. . .

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John Discepoli May 16, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story

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Judy May 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I’ve traveled quite extensively with Paula and I actually feel quite sorry for Larissa and Michael.
All kidding aside Paula’s expose is super and I hope won’t be writing about me during our next trip…to London. Paula has lifted my suitcase many a time and I wonder how Larrisa’s compares.

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Larissa May 17, 2012 at 6:11 am

I would LOVE to get the inside scoop on Paula now–maybe next time you can trave with us and write a guest post about her :)

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Judy May 17, 2012 at 9:22 am

I am happy to share my inside secrets….there are many.
If I do travel with you then poor Paula will feel horrible when you end up liking me more!

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Barbara May 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

Hi there,
This shows that you both have a sense of humor… and don’t mind sharing a bit of “dirty laundry” :).
Stay clean.

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Michael May 21, 2012 at 9:55 am

Yes, it’s certainly an uncensored look.

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Rick September 7, 2012 at 12:55 am

I think the Douro valley is home to some of the oldest wine in Europe. Am I correct?

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Michael December 26, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Hi Rick,

I believe you’re right about that. But we were too busy doing our laundry to find out.

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gabi klaf March 27, 2013 at 12:31 am

finally, someone debunked all those romantic utopic lies we were believing about you guys and little rockie. i can’t believe he couldn’t float. poor dear. you guys are the best and paula’s writing is just hysterical.

we’ll keep following your adventures, with great joy , in fact

gabi

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